An engineer was on a Caribbean cruise, when a hurricane sank the ship. He awoke to find he had drifted onto an island beach. He was totally alone, no other survivors, no supplies, nothing. For months, he ate only bananas, drank only coconut milk and spent his time staring out to sea, hoping to see a rescue ship. Then one day, he saw a boat coming around the corner of the island, rowed by the most gorgeous woman he had ever seen: tall, tanned, blond hair flowing in the ocean breeze. She rowed ashore. In disbelief, he asked, "Where did you come from?" She replied, "I live on the other side of the island. I've been here for months after my cruise ship sank." "Me, too," he said. "I didn't know there were any other survivors. How many of you are there? Did that boat wash up with you?" "There's only me," she said, "and the boat didn't wash up. I made it." The engineer's jaw dropped. She continued, "I made it from materials I found here. I whittled the oars from gum tree branches, I wove the bottom from palm fronds, and I made the sides and stern from a eucalyptus log." "But, but," stammered the engineer, "what about tools and hardware?" "Oh, that was no problem. On the south side of the island is a stratum of exposed alluvial rock. I found that if I fired it to a certain temperature in my kiln, it melted into forgeable ductile metal. I used it for my tools, then used the tools to make the hardware. But, enough about me; where do you live?" The man was ashamed to admit that he had just been sleeping on the beach. "Well, then, let's row over to my place," she suggested. They did. She docked her boat at her wharf, tied it up with a beautifully woven hemp rope, and walked up a stone walk to an exquisite bungalow. "Would you like a drink? How about a pina colada?" Trying to hide his amazement, he accepted. They sat down on her couch to talk, exchanged stories, and continued to drink until the woman excused herself, then returned wearing nothing but strategically positioned fig leafs. "We've both been stranded here a long time. Have you been lonely? Is there something you miss? Something that every man and woman need?" The engineer grew excited. "Don't tell me you've got an Internet connection here, too!?"
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